NY Minute Dating

In today's fast paced world it is becoming increasingly harder to meet your partner. At one time it was common for people to meet at church, in the office environment, through friends and family etc. One can still meet others in these environments of course, but it is becoming increasingly less so.

Because it has become so difficult we have seen an explosion in internet dating sites as well as things such as speed dating. Speed dating is the term given to an event where each person has around 4 minutes to talk to the other, usually across a table. Each person then swaps places with the person next to them and eventually you get a chance to talk to a lot of people. I think there is a flaw in this system - is it really possible to find any common ground or even chemistry within 4 minutes...unlikely.

A dating site will list a selection of potential partners and the user can filter out who they are interested in via different selection criteria. Most people want to see others who have a photo. It is common though for people to put up fake photos. I heard a story of a guy who was on the large side and felt embarrassed to put up his real photo..Instead he put one up of Pierce Brosnan. The woman he was in contact with had no idea who Pierce Brosnan was and continued the communication none the wiser. All was revealed though when they met in person. He apologized saying he knew she would not want to know him if he put his real photo on the site. Needless to say she was not pleased. Honesty is always the best policy, but equally there is a certain degree of shallowness in all of us.

Some dating sites are better than others though. Having investigated how these sites work I have found that some sites use a common database of members. The same person may be seen on several sites. There is nothing wrong with this, but I wonder whether someone would want their photo and details being shown all over the internet?

Some people are still skeptical about using dating sites, but there is not so much stigma as there was say around 10 years ago. Today dating sites are big business. Women are a little more uncomfortable about using them than men I have found. Unfortunately some men have given these sites a bad reputation by being sleazy and preying on women for more dubious activities. I'd like to think that most men use the sites responsibly though. It is possible to meet some nice, interesting people on dating sites. You will occasionally get a bad dating experience..It happens to all of use. It is best to just shrug it off and put it down to experience. For every bad experience there will be a good one around the corner.

There are disadvantages to dating sites. For one they can be expensive whether on a monthly or annual membership basis. Also after a while you will see the same people week after week with few if any new profiles being shown. I cannot comment on the men's profiles as I write this from a male point of view, but I have seen some wildly exaggerated female profiles. For example, Walking through moonlit misty fields, hang gliding over the Amazon followed by lunch at San Lorenzo. Speed boating at night, red, the sound of the rain on my window, Bordeaux, Shakespeare, galloping horses, fresh snow, hot toast etc etc. This is pretentiousness of the highest order. I'd rather people be honest and say they work all day and come home and watch TV. Why try and be something you are clearly not?

In some countries the fast pace of life has led to a change in attitudes. Some women can be unapproachable and you are risking a volley of abuse or being ignored if you say a simple "Hi".

In these political correct times a man is not always sure whether giving up his seat on a train to a woman is the correct thing to do. This also holds true when opening a door for a lady. I have seen women walk straight through without even a polite "Thank you". I heard a story of a man getting told off by the woman for offering his seat. What has gone wrong with the world?

The dating game has become a touch and go minefield. On dating sites men have complained of not getting a reply to their introduction message. Equally some women can get as many as 500 messages a day and they can pick and choose who they want to correspond with. Sometimes one may feel it is not a good idea to send a response as some people can take it the wrong way and become abusive.

Sometimes you can receive a sarcastic reply and I never know why some women have to behave in this manner. It has to be said that some people simply have an extremely high opinion of themselves.

What about dating events? It depends on whether one is prepared to stand around and make idle chit chat in the hope their ideal partner is there on the night. You may also have to suffer the indignity of wearing a name badge. These events on the whole can be friendly affairs I have found. You may find however that not everyone there is single. Some people will bring friends who are only there for the fun of it and have no intention of meeting anyone. These events may offer optional speed dating as part of the evening entertainment. How many people have met their future partners through these kinds of events is unclear, but I would guess the figure is not that high.

Other new dating theme events are quiz dating and wine tasting dating. Sometimes I wonder if the organizers of these things are getting rich. They have their place of course, but are the intentions of the organizers honorable?

It is said there will be more single people than ever in a few years. This is certainly true of a city like London. Dating events are big business in London and each week there is always something different on. It is sad to think that there are millions of single people out there who will come home from work, put a ready meal in the microwave and watch TV. This is a worrying existence and one wonders what the future holds.

One could argue that it is all due to fate and the idea that in order to meet someone then it must be your time.

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