Should I Date Multiple People? The Wisdom of Juggling
By Jennifer Oikle
With the advent of so many venues to meet Mr. or Ms. Right, many singles are faced with the choice to date (or at least get to know) more than one person at once. When we used to meet in the grocery aisle, this issue came up less often, but now that we can select from 8 people we met at a speed dating event, 6 people we met during It’s Just Lunch, and hundreds of internet dating profiles, what are we to do?
For many singles, the answer is learning to juggle (get to know more than one person at a time). Although some traditionalists bristle at the idea, in today's dating marketplace, it's almost a given. Why? Because your goal is to find The One and finding him or her is, primarily, a numbers game. You've got to meet lots of people to find a partner worth pursuing. That means you'll have to learn how to best manage your dating effort. And most often, the best strategy is juggling!
Juggling is beneficial for a number of reasons. First, people "pouf" all the time in the dating process! If you get to know only one person at a time, you're very vulnerable to disappointment when someone up and suddenly disappears. Worse than that, you've wasted precious time that could have been used to locate a more suitable candidate.
Second, people are on different time tables when it comes to dating. For example, when Internet dating, you could be waiting around several weeks for someone to become comfortable enough to meet in person, only to learn there's no chemistry. If you have other prospects in the "pipeline,” this is no big deal.
Third, by getting to know multiple potential partners, you reduce the emotional focus on any single person. This is helpful because it slows the process down, helping you to avoid falling in infatuation before you really know someone. And it keeps you from being broken hearted when a new interest turns not so interesting after all.
The problem with juggling? Not everyone is comfortable with it to begin with. They may feel it's immoral or unethical. Or it may just be plain uncomfortable. Maybe it seems hurtful. Or worse yet, embarrassing because you just can't keep straight what you've told whom! But the truth of the matter is, even if you’re not doing it, it's almost certain that the people you’re meeting are doing it, so you'll have to get use to it one way or another. You might as well learn to take advantage of the benefits!
Jennifer Oikle, Ph.D. is a psychologist whose practice consists of dating and relationship coaching. Her passion is helping singles and couples create the love they deserve. Through powerful workshops, effective one-on-one coaching, and affordable group coaching, she offers people the insight, tools, and skills they need to bring extraordinary love into their lives. She also provides free relationship resources in the form of newsletters and monthly group coaching calls. Learn more at: http://www.couplingconnection.com. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jennifer_Oikle |